Characters

The Principal 6

A dapper looking white cat lady in a pink suit with exagerratedly large lapels, as well as a top hat with an oversized rim and a monocle. She is picking a disembodied pocket using her index and middle fingers.

Lizzie Smithson

A really really good pickpocket. A really really bad girlfriend. Ambiguously mentally ill, but I refuse to clarify past that. The main breadwinner for her home, which consists of her, her girlfriend, and several identical roommates all named Eliza.

A white cat man, shorter than Lizzie, in a fancy suit and big beard. He is carrying a gun.

Mark Fifty

A rich guy with a gun. He's dangerous, but doesn't seem to understand why he has so many financial troubles. Doesn't his job pay him a lot? Well, no need to worry about it. Oh, it's that fancy cat again. Anyway.

A short white cat lady in a gray dress, sunglasses, and a bob haircut. She is also picking a disembodied pocket using her index and middle fingers.

The Mysterious Thief, AKA Empty Susan

A mysterious pickpocket who tends to work the same areas that Lizzie does. Lizzie doesn't know much about her, and she doesn't know much about Lizzie, but they get along fine, when they're not engaging in a little playful rivalry. She thinks she's the coolest thief on Earth but in reality she's about average. Her real name is "Empty Susan" and I'm writing it down and declaring it canon.

A tall ape man with no hair other than a combover, and a skull like face. He is rubbing his fingers together as if expecting something. He wears a plain gray dress shirt.

Lizzie's Landlord

Scum of the earth. Sells shelter in exchange for huge sums of dollars, which he converts into unethicoin and gambles on. Hasn't appeared in the comic for a while, but he's still there, and he's ready to strike if any of his tenants miss a payment.

A pink furred bear girl in a wheelchair--she has an enormous ponytail with red hair, as well as a red jacket and is showing some midriff.

Roby Ola

Lizzie's ~girlfriend~ OOH She's nice I guess. Leftist podcaster and former Tumblr user, Roby dreams of making it big off her content production skills, but so far hasn't gained much of an audience, much to her frustration. Don't get on her bad side cause she can kick your ass in seconds. Yeah, she's in a wheelchair. HSP. Keep scrolling.

A portly yellow furred bear lady, who wears a too tight white dress shirt and is smiling happily. She has orange hair and big eyes.

Eliza the Roommate

One of Lizzie and Roby's roommates, who herself is completely indistinguishable from any of their other roommates (there's like six of them). She's a college student, so presumably she did well in high school. She's a very logical, even mechanical thinker, to the point where you have to wonder if her brain is made of microchips and CPUs instead of mushy brown stuff or whatever. To clarify, I am definitely NOT saying she's smart.

Other People You Might Meet!

A skinny bunny lady with an orange dress, a short haircut, and is holding a gun. She has a terrified look on her face, and her eyes are thick pupil free circles.

Aliss Gunner

The nerdier among you might describe Aliss as a "Cloud Cuckoolander" and that would be accurate on the surface--She constantly spits nonsense Dada that infuriates those around her, but I must be honest. She's probably just trying to make people mad.
Appears in: MegaCincinnati

A kangaroo girl with pink curly hair, a big nose, is short, and wears a p[lain white shirt with pink pants. She is slightly beefy, despite her size.

Pink Ace

One of Lizzie's several old girlfriends. Lizzie taught her how to pick pockets, and then totally forgot to include her in the lease. Ended up having a nasty breakup, but I never drew a comic showing that. They're over each other.
Appears in: One Armed Robbery

A very tired looking dog with large jowls and short, orange hair, as well as a dress shirt that is covered in orange patches. Slightly tall.

Orange Twenty

A poor guy who doesn't deserve the nastiness he gets. He has enough money on him that Lizzie sometimes profits through his financial misfortune (that she causes) and yes, she will go to hell for that if hell is a real place.
Appears in: One Armed Robbery

A very short blonde fellow with a white baseball cap and white vest, and a yellow shirt underneath.

Yellow Thirty

Just a guy. Guess he has some money. Not much to say about him, but if I didn't mention him the alt text in One Armed Robbery could potentially get a little confusing. "Yellow Thirty" is probably not his real name.
Appears in: One Armed Robbery

A tallish lady wearing a green shirt with a large neck with frills, and appears to be a dog lady with large jowls and a big nose, with straight green hair and point ears.

Green Forty

A fancy older woman. Doesn't live a very happy life, but that's what happened when you're attracted to money. If only people took her seriously, she'd probably develop a much friendlier personality. Oh well.
Appears in: One Armed Robbery

A short catlike girl, slightly fat, with a green shirt, messy hair, and a dark green rimless cap. She looks like she smokes weed.

Lizzie's Friend

Lizzie's friend. Likes Lizzie. Does not like Lizzie's enemy. Can be swayed by someone Lizzie doesn't know.
Appears in: Friends Strangers Enemies

A medium sized tomboyish girl in a bizarre suit with large lapels, large spiky red hair, and a big round clown like nose. She looks constipated.

A Stranger

Someone Lizzie doesn't know. Friends with Lizzie's enemy. Can sway Lizzie's friend (these are game mechanics, by the way).
Appears in: Friends Strangers Enemies

A tall, extremely muscular sweaty dog woman with wavy blue hair that points in two directions, almost like a triangle. She looks angry.

Lizzie's Enemy

Lizzie's enemy. Doesn't like Lizzie's friend. Friends with someone Lizzie doesn't know.
Appears in: Friends Strangers Enemies

A very large cat lady in a pretty big gray dress with no pockets. He brows are deeply furrowed and her eyes appear to just be small circles. She has a beehive haircut.

Lizzie's Rival

Lizzie's rival, who is also a pickpocket. They don't like each other much, but they're not ENEMIES, per se. There's a lot more pickpockets in this version of Cincinnati than I frankly think exist in the actual real life Cincinnati (not that the setting of this series is at all similar to Cincinnati in real life--I do know what Ohio looks like, really).
Appears in: Friends Strangers Enemies

A big shrew-like lady with a blue afro and glasses, and a white dress shirt.

Rosey LaRosta

One of two other people Lizzie was in a polyamorous relationship with once. It went incredibly bad, much worse than is normal for such an arrangement. She's fairly sporty, nice, etc. Probably was the most normal person in the relationship. I imagine she's doing fine now, but the three of them would walk into traffic to get away if they ever saw each other these days.
Appears in: Divine Lovers

A bunny lady with green hair that covers one of her eyes, a small t shirt with a long neck and showing some midriff, and a large set of hips. She also wears bell bottomed green jeans.

Jessica Bingo

She, Lizzie, and Rosey were in an open relationship together. It did not go well. Listen, I don't mean to sound like I'm telling people how to live their lives, polyamory can work well in many situations, but I do think I have the authority to tell these specific characters how to live their lives, and I would say: restraining orders. Get them. Jessica was the most emotionally volatile of the three, very quick to anger.
Appears in: Divine Lovers

Map of MegaCincinnati, Lizzie's Home

(the parts of it she cares about, anyway)

A Map of Lizzie Smithson's home, Mega Cincinnati, showing a residential area where people live, a downtown area with many tall buildings, and a street and alley connecting them, bordered on their east and west sides by two abandoned buildings and a jail.

About the Author

an uncolored ink drawing of a lion with tired eyes and long hair

My name is Eri "Godahl" Drury (he/she/they--any pronouns are fine, honestly) and I'm just trying to live normal. My name is NOT Lizzie Smithson, Lizzie is a fictional character and is entirely the product of my imagination. I have a dayjob as a cheesemonger, so feel free to ask me anything you want to know about cheese, if we ever meet. I like newspaper comics, One Piece, old movies, and I like Sly Cooper but only a normal amount. I dislike sounds, and when people are behind me. I'm mentally ill, but I'm not willing to go into details beyond that. I think that's it, you know everything you need to know about me. Bye.