Cannon: The Comic

Really ancient webcomic I made that sort of marks the birth of the Lizzie Smithson series later. UNDER CONSTRUCTION--will update this with the whole archive eventually, I'm just experimenting right now. Yeah, I know these look terrible and aren't interesting--I just wanted to have an online archive of the first webcomic I ever made SOMEWHERE, lol

PAGE 1

Cannon, a homely looking lady pickpocket, is standing in a crowd. She's thinking, I've never met someone who watches The Big Bang Theory unironically.

Cannon thinks, I don't think those people exist.

Cannon thinks, Every winter, the weather's worse.

Cannon thinks, Every year, that show has more ironic fans.

Canon thinks, I will never own a car.

Cannon thinks, cars are ugly, awful, scary things.

Cannon thinks, some day, I want to climb Mount Everest.

Cannon thinks, You sure as shit can't drive a car up a mountain.

Cannon thinks, My Great Grandad died of dysentery.

Cannon thinks, That's absolutely not the way I want to go.

Cannon thinks, I wouldn't mind being chopped up by helicopter blades

Cannon thinks, I had an uncle who flew helicopters.

Cannon thinks, High school failed me.

Cannon thinks, I guess it fails everyone, really.

Cannon thinks, I should spend my life savings on candy.

Cannon thinks, Would've made junior year better if that were my every meal.

Cannon thinks, I'll bet someone has a phobia of trees

Cannon thinks, The way they sprout off in all directions has to disturb some people

Cannon thinks, My family lived in a small house behind a white picketed fence

Cannon thinks, I'm lucky my only fear is the suburbs.

Cannon thinks, Romantic love is a weird thing.

Cannon thinks, If I fall in love, I hope a train runs me over.

Cannon thinks, I wonder how you make a career in pop music.

Cannon thinks, I'd write songs about lovers dying in trainwrecks.

Cannon thinks, They say the library is the center for learning.

Cannon thinks, I've learned a lot about late fees there.

Cannon thinks, Tom Cruise is the best actor

Cannon thinks, I'll bet he never has to pay late fees.

Cannon thinks, Centuries ago, I'll bet people used bamboo sticks as straws.

Cannon thinks, Amazing how many conveniences the invention of plastic has brought forth.

Cannon thinks, If I had sense, I'd start a business.

Cannon thinks, Maybe a business around recyclying plastic straws.

Cannon thinks, It's a good day in a bad city.

Cannon thinks, Cincinnati is garbage town

Cannon thinks, Mom dreamed of being an actor

Cannon thinks, Cincinnati is where dreams go to die

Cannon thinks, Heck yeah, bagels are better than donuts.

Cannon thinks, Every bad memory I have involves donuts.

Cannon thinks, I like toilet humor more than I used to

Cannon thinks, Donuts belong in the toilet.

Cannon thinks, I hate yogurt, but I love frozen yogurt.

Cannon thinks, Warmish food is bad, cold food is good

Cannnon thinks, Nothing's as good as lying in the sun

Cannon thinks, Yeah, the sun's better not frozen.

Cannon thinks, If I could live anywhere, I'd live in stonehedge.

Cannon thinks, I'd be open to the rain, but I'd be living in history.

Cannon thinks, My middle school teacher made us all learn xylophone.

Cannon thinks, I'd play stonehedge like a xylophone.

Cannon thinks, Umbrellas keep you dry.

Cannon thinks, But they look dorky as heck.

Cannon thinks, If I were in a rock band, I'd be a drummer.

Cannon thinks, I wonder if you can use an umbrella as a drumstick?

That's all for this html page. That was about 12 updates worth of the original comic, 4 panels per page, 12 pages. This came out in like 2015, maybe 2016. At some point, I'll link to another page containing the next 12 or so pages I did.